just...for...today...

March 28, 2012

Facing feelings

Page 90

"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."

Basic Text, p. 30

While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren't sure what normal emotions were anymore.

After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.

Just for Today: I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.

Copyright (c) 2012, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

......

I miss my Lily Bee a lot today. I started working at Ginza again yesterday and my schedule isn't going to allow me to spend the quality time with her like I have been. I have an unsettling uneasy feeling and I'm scared. But, it did feel nice being around people again. I am falling in love and I'm scared to death because it's not just me who is falling this time......

I celebrated nine months of sobriety and that right there is a miracle. It is a miracle that I survived what I put my body through last year. I feel like I am still grieving many things that happened and I am still trying to let go of some of the people that came into my life and are no longer in it. I know that my life is better off without these people, that is why I am having a hard time figuring out why I am so sad about the loss of these relationships. I have never been good at letting go, I guess I am too busy holding on. It's like my mom always says, " its not the letting go that hurts, it is the holding on"

For now I will take another twenty four......

3 comments:

ASRussell said...

YAY for 9 months! What a great accomplishment!!! Just remember that sometimes we have to go through sorrow to be truly happy! You are an amazing person and know you will get through this. You have MANY people around you that love you and are here for you especially on days that are hard! Love you! hang in there!!!

Josey said...

it's not just you that is falling this time...

that's awesome. :)

congrats on 9 months!!

Katey Blanche said...

Everyone that knows how hard this last 90 days have been for you, love and admire you more and more everyday. I learned a hard lesson to never ever give up. You are my proof. I love you so so so much.

Love,

Mom :)