just...for...today...

March 28, 2012

Facing feelings

Page 90

"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."

Basic Text, p. 30

While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren't sure what normal emotions were anymore.

After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.

Just for Today: I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.

Copyright (c) 2012, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Friday, October 29, 2010

i must be doing something right.....

video
October 20, 2010

Today was one of those days that is leaving me speechless. If i was to describe the feelings I have about today you would think i was full of it for sure. you might think i am overcompensating or just being cheesy. but I don't care because I know my own truth. I shared something with Kristi (my oldest sister) that I will never forget. We danced today with our children at our feet on grandmas kitchen floor.  I realized something about myself that was so refreshing.

October 29, 2010
On Tuesday after Ryan took Lily home I was beyond myself.  I was sick to my stomach I was anxious and so sad. All I wanted to do was crawl in bed and cry myself to sleep.  After sitting for a while in my self pity I decided that I have to learn how to deal with not being with her. I have to learn how to be okay when I do not have her. So I grabbed my iPod and speakers went in the basement, turned off all the lights and danced! I danced by myself for over an hour. I could feel every inch of my body when I would move. It was so amazing to be so present in that moment. I realized that I have to learn how to dance without her. I have to be okay with it just being me. As she grows up I want her to know that it is okay to be alone. I want to discover myself so that I will know exactly who I am .

1 comment:

Jennifer J Kendall said...

Katey,

I am in awe of you.
I love you.
Love,

Mom :)