March 28, 2012

Facing feelings

Page 90

"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."

Basic Text, p. 30

While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren't sure what normal emotions were anymore.

After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.

Just for Today: I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.

Copyright (c) 2012, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Saturday, October 9, 2010


I woke up today and picked up a book. I don't remember the last time I did that. I read for about four hours today, and without even realizing it I was sitting in my room, on my bed, ALONE, and I was okay with it just being me. For those who know me know that the last thing I like is to be alone. I will go to any length to not be alone. I have always known this about myself.  I have jumped from relationship to relationship. Friends, boyfriends, co-workers. Shitty as it is sometimes this new path I am taking in my life is forcing me to get to know who I am.  When I think about "WHO I AM " I realize I have no f'n idea!  All I want to do today is look at pictures, sit at my computer, listen to music and avoid the list of things I HAVE to get done today.  I have been slacking on reading my "Just For Today" and today when I read what today's meditation is I knew it exactly what I needed to read. For once in my life I am going to make my house in order!


Jennifer J Kendall said...

Your not alone, ever.
Thank you for sharing this journey with us all. I learn something new every post.

I love you :)

Jennifer J Kendall said...

Love the picture of you and Jordan. I can't stop smiling.