March 28, 2012

Facing feelings

Page 90

"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."

Basic Text, p. 30

While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren't sure what normal emotions were anymore.

After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.

Just for Today: I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.

Copyright (c) 2012, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Music to my Ears

We just got back from my second doctors appointment and it went very well. It was so exciting to hear the babies heart beat!!!!! Who would of ever thought something so tiny could bring so much joy, ease, and happiness :)

 I was in the ER Friday night due to some very painful stomach issues and of course they found nothing. It was okay because that is exactly how I wanted to spend Ryan's ONE night off. Sitting in the hospital bed watching bad sit coms waiting and waiting.  I say bad although Ryan and I love to watch them. Some of our favorites are: Scrubs, Still Standing, Everybody Loves Raymond, Two and a Half Men, and Seinfeild of course (which is always great). So probably typical to what we would have been doing but it would have been on a comfortable couch with lots of popsicles near by and a cozy blanket. 

They never really figured out what was wrong with me. They suspected appendicitis but they ruled that out which made me extremly happy. They gave me morphine for the pain (totally baby safe) and it was the least  amount of fun I have had in a while. I got and instant headache and a weird feeling throughout my entire body. And not a weird I feel awesome feeling a like what the hell is happening to me kind of feeling. So needless to say, nothing got solved, I got doped up on morphine and hated it and Ry and I spent our night together in the ER.  It was so nice to have him there by my side, and Kands and mom came to be with me also and they always makes me feel better. 

Although it was not a very fun night in the ER they did do an ultrasound and we got to see the baby. It was insane because baby has grown so much. He was moving around and waving his (im going to use his/him/he because daddy is convinced its a boy so until further notice baby is a he) little arms and legs around. This was the first time Ryan has seen the baby so it was an amazing experience to have together. After they did the ultrasound I felt much better and my nerves calmed down a bit. So I would have to say the night in the ER was definately worth our little sneak peak of our angel :)

This is what baby looks like at eleven weeks inside my uterus....



Kendalls Media said...

Thanks for always being there for our family. I hate that you have been so sick.

I loved it when my newest little grandchild waved at me during the ultrasound. He which means she already loves me!!!

I love you with all my heart and we

Kendalls Media said...

oops -hit the wrong key

continued- are all so happy for you and Ry and for your little one to have you two as parents.


Mom :)

KrisFlower said...

I'm so happy that everything is going well and hopefully within the next couple of weeks you will start to feel better....I'm so excited to find out if the baby is a he or she....I love you and I'm so happy for you....

auntie Kris

KrisFlower said...

I love you so much and I am so proud of you, you are the greatest overdraft ever!! love fasha

Kendalls Media said...

I love and miss you!


Mom :)

KrisFlower said...

how about an update.....I hope your feelin' good...I can't wait three more weekd and we get to find out if its going to be Blanche Kristi or Ryan Kendalli....Get it I used mine and Kendalls name for the middle names...

love ya