March 28, 2012

Facing feelings

Page 90

"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."

Basic Text, p. 30

While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren't sure what normal emotions were anymore.

After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.

Just for Today: I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.

Copyright (c) 2012, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Monday, November 15, 2010

After The Storm


I have been on a Mumford and Sons kick for the past couple weeks and I love it! There is nothing  better than discovering an artist or a band and falling completely in love with the music. Music has always been a big part of my life and when I think about different stages in my life I can remember what kind of music I was listening to at the time. So I wanted to share one of my favorite songs of theirs. Enjoy!

I was thinking about how lucky I am today. I used to be so scared when I was really happy because I just knew that my luck was going to run out and something terrible was going to happen. That was a big part of me going through PPD after I had Lily. I worried and stressed every minute of the day fearing something was going to happen to her. I used to think about the things I have seen other people in my life go through and I would also think to myself " if that happened to me I would never get through it" I have a different view on things now. I know a lot has to do with me getting older and looking at things in a different light. 

I think when people think that bad things don't happen to certain people maybe they are not looking close enough. It could be that those "lucky people" just handle things better than you do. Maybe they have learned how to deal with things in a positive and healthy way. That is something I want to start focusing on. I want to be able to process and deal with the thins that happen to me in a healthy manner. I want to be able to teach Lily that life is hard sometimes and I mean really hard. But, there isn't anything you can't get through when you love and support and a good relationship with your higher power. That is going to be my goal for this month, really pay attention to how I am responding to situations and at the end of the day look back and see the good things I did and the not so good things. AA always talks about taking your inventory at the end of each day. When I was in treatment we did it every night and it really helps me stay aware of where I am at. Sometimes I really think I handled a situation well then I look back and I can always find something I could have done better. 

It is so much fun being becoming more and more aware of who I am and what I am capable of. I challenge you to start doing this every night before bed and see what happens. It has really helped me a great deal. I better get some rest tomorrow is my day with the family. When I get done with aftercare we all hang out and do something fun with the kids. Tomorrow we are going to Discovery Gateway I am really excited!!!!


ASRussell said...

LOVE this song! It is beautiful! You made me realize, with your post, that I need to be more positive too and that our happiness is TRULY what w make of it! Thanks for being an inspiration!

Jennifer J Kendall said...

Thanks for reminding me it works if you really honestly work it.

I love you.

When I take my inventory at night I need to focus on the good and the not so good. I need to focus on the good more and forgive myself for the not so good and live for each day.

Love MOM :)
Please keep writing and inspiring me.