Last night I was a hot mess! And by hot mess I mean I literally cried until the moment we started getting her ready for bed until I went in and got her out of her crib at 4AM.
I never in a million years thought it would be this hard for me. I always knew how much I loved sleeping with her and cuddling her all night but I never knew how much I would miss it...I know what your thinking, why they hell are we doing this then?
Well, I have seen the benefits of children who learn to be able to fall asleep on their own and actual get a good nights sleep.
We are also thinking of the future, Ry and I would love to be able to spend some time alone, maybe sometime this century and we know that if we stick with this we are going to get to have a couple hours every night where we can spend some good old fashion time together...ALONE! that whole alone thing is getting pretty hard to come by these days.
At this moment I have our video monitor plugged in right next to me and instead of watching tv I am now a big fan watching Lily sleep...cry.....sleep....cry...wiggle....cry.....sleep. Not a fan of the crying but I love that I am able to see her, it makes me feel much better (thank you Heather and Jon)
Well I'm actual going to try to get some sleep because she is sleeping soundly at this second and after my sleepless night last night I need me some good REM....And my sleeping Ryan looks so dang cute and I want to cuddle up next to him wrap myself in his arms and watch our baby sleep...Its been a very long time that we have been able to just sleep holding each other...I'm Excited!!! I am one lucky gal!
did I mention I miss her :( and even though we are seperated by a tiny hallway I feel like we are worlds apart...and i'm actual watching her sleep....not healthy I'm sure but oh well its getting me through this...kind of