just...for...today...

March 28, 2012

Facing feelings

Page 90

"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."

Basic Text, p. 30

While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren't sure what normal emotions were anymore.

After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.

Just for Today: I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.

Copyright (c) 2012, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Worlds Apart :(

So tonight is the second night that we are attempting to put Lily in her crib. Up until last night she has been co-sleeping with us, last week I got really crazy and she slept in her cradle next to me.

Last night I was a hot mess! And by hot mess I mean I literally cried until the moment we started getting her ready for bed until I went in and got her out of her crib at 4AM.
I never in a million years thought it would be this hard for me. I always knew how much I loved sleeping with her and cuddling her all night but I never knew how much I would miss it...I know what your thinking, why they hell are we doing this then?

Well, I have seen the benefits of children who learn to be able to fall asleep on their own and actual get a good nights sleep.
We are also thinking of the future, Ry and I would love to be able to spend some time alone, maybe sometime this century and we know that if we stick with this we are going to get to have a couple hours every night where we can spend some good old fashion time together...ALONE! that whole alone thing is getting pretty hard to come by these days.

At this moment I have our video monitor plugged in right next to me and instead of watching tv I am now a big fan watching Lily sleep...cry.....sleep....cry...wiggle....cry.....sleep. Not a fan of the crying but I love that I am able to see her, it makes me feel much better (thank you Heather and Jon)

Well I'm actual going to try to get some sleep because she is sleeping soundly at this second and after my sleepless night last night I need me some good REM....And my sleeping Ryan looks so dang cute and I want to cuddle up next to him wrap myself in his arms and watch our baby sleep...Its been a very long time that we have been able to just sleep holding each other...I'm Excited!!! I am one lucky gal!

P.S.
did I mention I miss her :( and even though we are seperated by a tiny hallway I feel like we are worlds apart...and i'm actual watching her sleep....not healthy I'm sure but oh well its getting me through this...kind of

3 comments:

The Brady Bunch said...

I totally know what you are talking about...the first couple of nights we had madi sleep in her crib in her own room...I cried all night too! But let me tell you...it is soooooo worth it, both of my kids sleep through the night in their own rooms and it is so much better for everyone!!! Keep doing it and just keep reminding yourself that it is better for h er to be doing this!!! You are an awesome mommy!

Alyssa said...

Haha I am the same way and definitely know how you feel! I hated putting Trey in his own room more than anything and I still have the video monitor right next to me when I sleep. And he is almost a year and a half!!! I keep wanting to see more pictures of Lily and Nickie said you post a lot on facebook so I'm going to have to check it out. That video is adorable!!!

Jennifer Kendall said...

good luck... it is true, the pro's do outweigh the cons, and having alone time with your signifigant other is a HUGE pro, in my opinion. It let's them know they are #1. Good luck.