Sometimes life happens and we wonder why things happen and for what reasons. Lately I have been thinking a lot about the choices I have made and the effect certain choices have had on where I am today. I have always been a true believer in Karma and if you do good things then good things will come your way. And if you treat people well then you will be surrounded by good people. Never before in my life do I believe this more. I have spent my whole life trying to make people happy and trying to make someone else happy. I spent a very long time trying to make someone see who I really was and what I had to offer. And no matter how hard I tried they could never see.
I have had so many wonderful friends come in and out of my life. Some for a short time and some that will be in my life forever. And I have learned something different from each one of these people. And I appreciate and love them for being in my life and helping me through hard times. In my life I have had a really hard time dealing with the loss of friendships, some by my choice, some not, and some just because life happens and things change. People change. I like to hold on to people. But I am learning how to let go. I am learning how to take all the positive things from those people and carry them with me. And letting all the negative things go.
Being pregnant has opened my eyes to so many wonderful things about myself and the people that are in my life. I have learned so much about myself the past couple months. I am so grateful for where I am right now in this very moment. Every choice I have made, bad or good, has led me to this moment. The people that are in my life are in my life because they have a special place in it. I can honestly say that the people I choose to have in my life do nothing but bring me happiness and support. It has taken me a long time to realize the people that don't do that or can't don't deserve to be in my life. The past year has been a roller coaster to say the least. There are things I wish I would have done different or handled different and there are some things I would not change for the world. But my point is it has all led me to where I am today. And as I sit here thinking about the choices I have made, I am so proud of myself.
I can truly say I am proud that I finally stood up and put myself first. Because putting myself first led me to Ryan and this miracle I can feel moving around in my belly. I have never been so in touch with myself and what I want and what is best for me. It took me a very long time to realize that my happiness is the most important thing in my life. And I just want to say I am proud of the choices that I have made. I am proud of who I am and the person that I am becoming!