March 28, 2012

Facing feelings

Page 90

"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."

Basic Text, p. 30

While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren't sure what normal emotions were anymore.

After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.

Just for Today: I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.

Copyright (c) 2012, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Monday, February 16, 2009

28 Week Belly!

IMG_1546.jpg picture by katey1986
IMG_1557.jpg picture by katey1986IMG_1510.jpg picture by katey1986IMG_1500.jpg picture by katey1986IMG_1560.jpg picture by katey1986
(Thanks for taking the pics Mom and most of all thanks for being so patient with me, you are the most amazing mother anyone could EVER dream of having...You are the best!!!! )

28 Weeks!!!! Oh my goodness....I can't believe it is getting so close...When I think about it, it feels like the time has flown by but ,then when I start thinking about how long I have been pregnant and all the things that have happened it seems like I have been pregnant for like ten years!!!! I have so many things to be grateful for and I know how blessed I am.
But I would be lying if I didn't say that I am feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed today. 

Ry and I went to the cabin over the weekend and it was so nice to just spend time alone with him. However, I threw up ALL night Friday and was sick all day Saturday then cried most of the day Sunday.
I was so mad at myself that I couldn't just relax and enjoy that time alone with him. I think the crying was a combination of many things...
knowing we had to go home...
knowing I had another week ahead of me...
knowing I had to clean the cabin...
my anxiety about everything...
I feel bad and I'm sure EVERYONE in my life is sick of hearing my complaining....
mad at myself for not being able to just enjoy the alone time with him..

Yes this post might be contradicting and confusing and I am sorry for that...It's just I know how lucky I am and I am so excited every day is getting closer and closer to when I get to see my baby girl...
But it's just one of those days!! So I'm going to vent for a minute..

I'm tired of my back hurting, I'm tired of getting nauseous, I'm tired of being tired!!!! I'm tired of waiting, I'm scared it's getting so close...( I know I know doesn't make sense) 

But I have so many things to look forward to and to be grateful for so I'm doing my best to stay focused on those things.. Thanks for letting me rant... 
To sum this all up, All I have to say is
  "F you hormones !!!!!!!!  "


KrisFlower said...

You look sooo cute!!!! I know you feel...Some days are better than others!

Love You

Kendalls Media said...

I love you so much. I never had to work full time like you I can't imagine how you do it. I am so thankful you work for the amazing family you do, they are my angels and I love them for all they do for you.

Ditto on the hormones!


Mom :)

The Brady Bunch said...

you look absolutely beautiful! And your post is not confusing...any woman who has ever been pregnant knows exactly what you mean! Hang in there...the most amazing day of your life is almost here!