March 28, 2012

Facing feelings

Page 90

"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."

Basic Text, p. 30

While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren't sure what normal emotions were anymore.

After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.

Just for Today: I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.

Copyright (c) 2012, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Monday, September 1, 2008

Baby Paxie

Just like his cousin Kendall baby Pax could not wait any longer to see his aunt Katey so he decided it was time to leave mommas belly. I was woke up at 2:00 am Saturday morning by a very scared paniched grandma. Kandice's water had broke, Kandice was thirty five weeks along. So I jumped out of bed kissed Ryan goodbye and waited for Kristi to pick me up. After we arrived at the hospital they informed us that Kandice was going to be taken in for a c-section at 5:30 am. Kandice was so brave and so strong. With her sweetheart Regan holding her hand Kandice was wheeled off to the OR. We waited praying and hoping that everything was going to be okay. We didn't get to see baby Paxie because he was taken straight to the NICU because he was having a hard time breathing. Saturday and Sunday were very rough days, Paxie was so tired and fighting so hard to breathe. Things seemed to be getting worse when a miracle happened. 
A very Exhausted and Sick momma wheeled down to see her baby boy late last night. As soon as he was in his mommas arms he was at peace. Ever since that momment he has been getting stronger and stronger. Luckily I have the day off and Ry dropped me off early this morning so I could help Kands get showered.  After that we were able to take Kands down to see her baby boy. Seeing Kandice hold her baby was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. The bond between a mother and her child is the most remarkable thing in this world. 
Once again I have witnessed true greatness from all the women in my life. 
My mother who has not left Kandice's side, even though she is tired and sick 
My beautiful sister Kristi who has become an amazing mother
My grandma and aunts 
I am so blessed to be apart of such a strong and supportive family. 

Look At Those Feet!!!!! He's gonna be a soccer playe


He was so scrunched in mommas belly


face of an angel



Cuddy Miss said...

Wow.. exciting. Tell Kands and Reagan I say Congrats!

KrisFlower said...

beautiful family....I'm so proud of my sister....